J's Earthly Escapade: Rock of Enlightement - Resolving Conflicts in 9 Steps

1. KEEP YOUR VOICE LOW/NORMAL.

A high pitch voice or volume while talking tends to provoke feelings
You can control yourself more
You can say more

2. BEWARE OF MANIPULATION.

Avoid these tactics:

Threatening
Beating or hurting self
Attempting suicide
Crying as a weapon
Silence

3. DO NOT TALK ABOUT PAST PROBLEMS.

Do not 'collect' problems (Eph 4:27)
Remember to forget (Prov 10:12, 17:9, 1 Pet 4:8)

4. ATTACK THE PROBLEM, INSTEAD OF THE PERSON.

Do not attack his/her physical appearance.
Do not bring in others, unless they are the source or part of the problem
Do not put a label on the other person

5. REMEMBER THESE 3 POWERS:

THE POWER OF WORDS (Prov 18:21)

THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS (Matt 18:21-35)

THE POWER OF YIELDING YOUR RIGHTS (PHIL 2:5-11)

6. IF YOU ARE WRONG, ADMIT IT; IF YOU ARE RIGHT, SHUT UP.

7. LOOK AT THE NEEDS OF THE OTHER PERSON, AND YOU WILL HAVE COMPASSION.

8. FIND THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM AND DEAL WITH IT.

9. WHEN A CONFLICT IS RESOLVED, PRAY TOGETHER TO SEAL IT BEFORE GOD

ADVICE FROM PAS. SUKIRNO...

REMEMBER THAT WE DO NOT KNOW HOW MUCH TIME WE HAVE....READ STORY BELOW

There was a missionary, just about to preach in a big meeting away from home, when his wife called the office of the church he was in. Now, beacuse he was in the middle of the worship service, he got a bit irritated that his wife called at this time. Answering fhe call, he realised that his wife was crying and saying,"Dear, the faucet is broken, the water is leaking and there is no food to cook; I don't know what to do!". At this, the preacher got very angry, "Why did you call me at this time! I have to preach in 10 minutes and you called to tell me this?", he shouted,"Just go and fix it yourself!". Then he slammed down the phone. He promply returned to the worship service and continued worshipping. Then he heard a voice saying,"Go and apologise to you wife and resolve the problem."He replied," OK Lord I'll do it after the service." But then the voice said again, "Go and apologise to your wife now, and resolve the problem." Again he procrastinated, and again the voice said, "Go and apologise to your wife now, and resolve the problem." So finally he obeyed. He sent a message to worship leader to extend the worship for another few minutes, as he went to the church office to call his wife. " I'm sorry honey, about the way I acted just now, I was just in a rush and didn't think," he apologised, " If you look in the phonebook, there's a plumber's number, he's my friend and he'll help you out. As for the food, maybe you could just go to the supermarket and get some stuff to cook." She replied, " It's ok dear, I forgive you. I was just on my way to the supermarket to get some food." So he said goodbye and returned to preach in the service. As his wife was on her way to the supermarket, she was hit by a truck. She died instanly. Don't let your conflicts be unresolved, always fix them as soon as you can and forgive that person. How would you feel if someone left this world without you settling things with them...