Life's a Bitch....with a heart

My life... a double faced monster gnashing uncontrollably in my

Work life is so peachy with tea breaks and smiling WOs. No pressure on my brain, just life revolving around itself, chirpy and free. A picture painted with the fat paychecks of the 'dedicated' regulars who run the school.

Why am i So Distraught?

My heart is torn, crushed and severly damaged by the decisions i make everynight as i enter this world of cybernetic intelligence, emotions and farces. Who are we really in cyberspace, an instant message is just like an sms, you can lie as much as you want to convey different feelings to different people at the same time. Your mind is thinking of 'What the hell is happening here' and 'Oh i had a great day today', both are true feelings but not at the same moment....why cant we just teleport anywhere in the world and spend time with people who we love, and then teleport back for work.

I cant go on like this, living a life that is elusive and mysterious , EVEN TO ME!

'What's going on?'

I have a feeling that the end is near, nearer than i think it is.....time is running out

Problems can't be dalayed and prolonged, they only cause more hurt than they already do, dwelling and growing in size and complexity in your ever so creative mind.

I need help, but where do I get it? God? Yes of course i know he's there, i know he cares and i know he listens, but right now i need a human, coz my relationship with him is not strong at all....right now i need a human. A person who can adivce and get me out of this shithole of ideas and fantasies that i have.

help, desperate....soon

to the person who reads this from down under,

i don't know whats going on, i don't want to assume, coz the last time i assumed i was heartbroken to the point of death. but if it has anything to do with me, please settle it with me soon, my heart cannot bear for you to feel pain and my mind cannot bear the agony and suspense of this unsolved mystery. If i have done anything to hurt you i apologise, i really did not realise. I only care for you. That is my motivation. It is a mystery to me, whether feelings of anykind exist or not in this international connection. Whatever it is, i want to resolve it soon, for your sake and mine. But most importantly, i want to be true to what it is and not force any decision.

yours trully truthfully