A New Beggining...The start of a journey with Him

This is the first song i have come up with, and i know its, fully inspired by Him,
How did i end up writing this song...
I was at a point in my life recently, where things were just at the bottom of the sea, and i was so broken that i just locked myslef in my room with the guitar, and just started singing to Him, praising him despite adversity (which is what we should always do btw.), and just being in His loving presence....its peaceful
Anyway, the title is : Where i must be...
Cause we always have to be in His presence...no matter what.
Its a bit raw, cause its a demo recorded at home...
there is also another small latin jazz riff, demo...

*right click save as...

Where i must be

Latin Jazz

joshie

Two sides of a coin

I love being on a rollercoaster...
Just wish the tracks were broken at the top...

Why is it that just when you think your getting up and dusting yourself off...you're hit with a tonne of bricks, and the truck that dumped it.

My life is like a rollercoaster in a day, on one hand, i have to trust Him and thank him for the scholarship that is coming...and on the other, im crying to Him cause...well, just because...of a reason.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?!
im writing this cause i have no one to talk to trully about this. im sworn to secrecy, though i NEVER leak secrets. i won'd don't worry.

it so complicated i think it'll make 9 seasons of a soap opera! look at me! i'm going nuts!
there is so much more that i can only cry out to Him...cause i know who reads this.
I mean, things are going on that are so not right, and still im so patient, and understanding, and frustrated, and torn apart, and calm (i think), and honest...
but i guess that's just me.
stupid? maybe...
my trust is just always taken advantage of? most of the time..
so why do i still trust people so easily...cause its just me.
sometimes people need someone who trusts them, wholeheartedly...but the funny thing is...they dont trust you when you need it. human nature i guess.

thank Him for the scholarship that is coming, and cry my heart out to Him...
Two sides of a coin.

joshie out.

*wake me up, when september ends...*

I Surrender all to you...

And so you're back....from outer space ( turkey )....
And im very happy, and i hope for a restart, cause i have written my life on paper, and put into your hands.
And its up to him.

This is my shortest post

joshie

Stuck halfway between present and the future...

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you've closed, locked and threw away key to the door behind you, only to find yourself facing a wall in front.
I just wonder, why wasn't this wall told to me before, and not after my help.

It hurts, not so much seeing the wall infront, but learning about it so late.

Not that it keeps me from trying. My determination is unmatched, my heart is set, and my spirit in line. Doesnt matter how good he looks, how big he is...or if he is almost everything i am.

I guess when i return, it will be time.

joshie

Le papillon pourpre

Le papillon pourpre,
Fly away tonight,
Into the moonbeam sky,
Let your dreams be realised,
And you heart's desire fullfilled,
May God rest you in His arms,
And keep you safe in flight.
Au revoir Le papillon pourpre..
i shall see you soon.

A beautiful day, A day of overcomings. A day of reconciliation?
A day of French Fries, and family.

joshie.

Worship in Motion / Bleeding Heart

Worship in Motion was a success. It only showed the professionalism of Riverz and their ability to touch hearts through dance. I thoroughly enjoyed it, my feet were moving, and my butt shaking. Though my heart was aching, I still managed to appreciate the talent, dedication, and beauty of dance, through Riverz.
Congratulations to all who participated, the organising committee, esp. Kris, X.H., Joanna, and the one person which connected me to the rest, Sujeeta Elizabeth Menon.

tears flow down, where none trickled before,
my heart aches, everyday a little more;
though he has my heart, which i have given him,
it still hurts, cause trust could so easily be given to another,
regardless of how long i was known.
Though somethings maybe true, feelings were never covered in a shroud.
Habits and traits have been changing, but trust i know can never easily be restored.
Some things were assumed, some things were not.
How do you tell fact from fiction? His friends, who have been close to him since he was reborn in Singapore? How well does she know her, how well do they know me? how well does she know me...how well, do i know her?
This web of lies, misunderstanding, and deceit...was never meant to be. But it has happened.
We can only STOP, THINK, ACT, RECONCILE...though the latter is the hardest.
Human chances are only given once, His chances, are everlasting.
I was not even given one. I feel.
No chance to explain fully, no chance to straighten my folly.
Don't i even deserve a chance? Do you trust the words of someone you just met over someone who you know for so much longer, who your friends are close to, who is begging for forgiveness?
Or are you just trying to cover skeleton that's still in the closet?
What do you want O' Lavender Butterfly Queen?

All i want is a chance to clear my name, cause it should be.

Beyond that, a chance to put this aside, and show feelings, i leave it to Him, in His time.

joshie

RIVERZ Week

Been slogging through the week, trying juggle work, church, constant migrains, and the RIVERZ video.
The video is for His glory, and i guess thats what kept me going. I kept fighting with the computer, cause it just wanted to crash soooooo many time, and i guess its God's grace that kept it working...
Just looking forward to the weekend, and being in church.
And being close to Him.

Thanks You de, Nat, Min, Fer Fer, and the ppl who advised me.

joshie

FROM SUNSHINE TO HURRICANE KATRINA

In a day full of joy at the start and middle, disaster in the end, only that i didnt know about it until today.
MY UNDOING FOR KEEPING THINGS WITHIN MYSELF AND HOPING THEY WOULD GO AWAY.
Lord help me.
God HELP ME!!!
pleaseeee!
im really desprate for you now!
please God, i need your guidance and your love and peace.
please
please
please

Lonely week, with Sunshine at the End...

T'was a rather lonesome week after monday, where i settled a long awaited standoff, between me and myself, but i know it was the right thing that had to be done, cause 2 days later my mom confrimed it during her quiet time, Im getting back on track, and i must persevere...or ill lose my destiny in Him again.
I DONT WANT THAT.
It was very lonely, and heart-wrenching, cause i had to refrain from certain people for a while....well, until i talked to her on thurs. though i have yet to hear her voice...i really miss it...really.
its so hard, when you fight against yourself...your heart is bursting, but you still have to keep it in chains, cause you dont want to lose what you have...
anyway..
Went to a Children's home today, off Thomson Road, Centre for Children with learning diabilities. Together with some guys and senior officers from my squadron, we went over, to volunteer to clean up the centre, and play and entertain the kids.
We had games with them, and sang songs...played with bubbles, gave them chocolates, did arts and craft. Most important of all, we got to share the love of Christ with them....and make the little kids happy...It was so fun, i played the guitar, and we sang, kids songs, chinese songs, Christian songs....and played catch the bubble..hehe....
It reminded me of a sunday school song..

Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world,
Red and yellow, black and white, ALL are precious in His sight,
Jesus loves the little children of the world...

Thank you Lord, for loving them just as they are.

joshie