BAck in The DRiver's Seat.....i think!

its been a while ( a long while ) since my last post...like what..5 months...

why?

cause i've been trying to find myself. ive been again. for those of you who know me as the focused, determined and unrelentingly driven human, i have broken...

how?

put 3 things together and they can cause your destruction.

HEAT + AIR + FUEL = SELF COMBUSTION

these 3 things have derailed the Joshie Express.

My scholarship didnt come thru, so my plans for Australia are very shaky. But i put my trust in My God, cause i know he has the best for me. But, how can you recieve from God, if you are not walking closely with him. Can the things He gives reach you through that cloud of sin and guilt and shame? everyone has sin in their life, but what if its an addiction, that has rooted so deep you cant imagine how to remove it. Only He can.

GIrls, you cant live with them, you cant live without them. Relationships, be it romantic ones or friendly ones, can bring a guys life up and/or down. My life has always revolved around girls, i am more comfortable talking and communicating with them, but sometimes, some take it too romanticaly and fall head over heels when you want them to stay on their feet. And some, stay on their feet when you are head over heels.......so bad timing.

My life has always been a quiet one, with little ppl forming close bonds, and lasting friendships.
My dreams are not shattered, just blocked.
My love life is a mess, i dont know if i want to have one.
My money is limited
My heart is open
My head is closed
My hands are tied
My eyes are wide shut.

Where are you when i need you? Who are you?

Are you my love from my past? a Ghost to haunt me for failing the rest of my life.I miss you.

Help.
Joshie.